Compilation of Erap Jokes (Part 2)

Here's another collection of Erap Jokes. Stay cool and relax. Read the first part here.


Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy? And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"
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In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :
THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE "ALLIGATORS' ARE.
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ERAP IN LIBRARY
"What time does the library open?" Erap on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M.. " came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" Erap asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Ha, who said I wanted to get in?" Erap sighed sadly. "I want to get out!"

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Erap was trying to get in touch with his son, Jinggoy, so he decided to page him.
He dialled '141 - 777777' and an operator answered, " Hello, pager number 777777, sender's name please..."
Erap answered " Ahh... ERAP."
The operator continued, " Message please."
Erap said, " Ahhh... Jinggoy, this is your father. Your beeper is with me."

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One particular day many years ago, Erap's wife was having labor pains.
Erap panicked so, he called their doctor.
Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?
Erap: Yes, doc!
Doc: Is this the first baby?
Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!

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Q:Bakit nakatingala si Cory sa langit? 
A:Nagdarasal siya. 
Q:Bakit nakatingala si FVR sa langit? 
A:Para ibuga ang usok ng tabako. 
Q:Bakit nakatingala si GMA sa langit? 
A: Nag-iisip kung papaano siya makakalusot sa issue.
Q: Bakit nakatingala si Erap sa langit? 
A: Nagbibilang ng bituin.


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Sotto: Ok Mr. President, last Senator with reservation is the Lady Senator from Ilo-Ilo.

Erap: Ok the Dragon Lady Senator Pick-up Lines of Ilo-ilo and my friend Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is recognized.

Santiago: Thank You Mr. President, I don’t know if I can call that a compliment or an insult to my persona but nonetheless I will proceed. But before I ask the witness Mr. president, let me just ask you. Mr. President, plastic ka ba?

Erap: Hindi ah, hindi ako plastic. Anong pinagsasabi mong plastic. *Miriam interrupts*

Santiago: Oh my God Mr. President, that is a pick-up line, didn’t you get that.

Erap: Ah eh, sorry kala ko tinatawag mo ako na plastic eh.

Santiago: You are too defensive Mr. President, are you guilty? hahaha. Anyways again, I will repeat my question, Mr. President, Plastic ka ba?

Erap: Ok, sige; Plastic? Bakit?

Santiago: Kasi tinapon ka na, eh na-recycle ka pa. wahahahha

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ERAP to MNLF : Sumuko na kayo!

MNLF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.

ERAP : Tangina! Tuloy ang giyera.

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Compilation of Erap Jokes (Part 1)

Former President Erap is one of the president of Pinas who was loved by the masses. In fact, during his presidential stint in 1998, he got the most vote which mostly from the poor kababayans. His charisma is incomparable due to the fact that he is a actor in his early years. When he won the presidency in 1998, I read a lot of jokes regarding his personality and here are some of those collections.


Birthday Gift...

Friend: Pareng Erap may regalo ako sa b-day mo phyton ang haba grabe 8 feet.
Erap: ako b niloloko mo hindi ako tanga no, alam kong walang paa ang ahas 8 feet k p
dyan. Tanga!!************************************************************************************************************

Katapusan na...

Juan: Lumilindol, Gumuguho na ang mga gusali, Bumabagyo na ng Malkas. KATAPUSAN NA!!, KATAPUSAN NA!!
Erap: HINDEEE!!, AKINSE PA LAAAANG!!************************************************************************************************************

Ambience...

Eksena sa isang sikat na hotel nagkape lang sila erap at ang mga kronies at kinuha na nila ang BILL...ERAP: bakit naman ang mahal ng BILL? nagkape lang naman kami eh...
WAITER: sir, mahal talaga kasi po iba ang AMBIENCE...
ERAP: (sa kanyang mga kronies) mga tarantado sino ang umorder ng AMBIENCE sa inyo? kayo ang magbayad aba napakamahal naman!

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Seafoods...

Erap & Gloria having a conversation:

Gloria: Salamat at nagkabati na tayo sa wakas
Erap: Oo nga, dahil dyan i-treat kita sa paborito kong restaurant
Gloria: Saan?, ano b paborito mong mga pagkain?
Erap: Hulaan mo nagsisimula s letter "C"
Gloria: Calamares?
Erap: No.
Gloria: Cakes? Calamansi?
Erap: Mali lahat.
Gloria: Sirit na nga!
Erap: Edi C-Foods (Seafoods)

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Airplane...

Steward: Sir r u done? 
Erap: No, i'm Erap 
Steward: i mean r u finished sir?
Erap: No, i'm a Filipino
Steward: i mean r u through? 
Erap: Wat do u think of me FALSE?