Compilation of Erap Jokes (Part 2)

Here's another collection of Erap Jokes. Stay cool and relax. Read the first part here.


Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy? And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"
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In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :
THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE "ALLIGATORS' ARE.
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ERAP IN LIBRARY
"What time does the library open?" Erap on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M.. " came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" Erap asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Ha, who said I wanted to get in?" Erap sighed sadly. "I want to get out!"

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Erap was trying to get in touch with his son, Jinggoy, so he decided to page him.
He dialled '141 - 777777' and an operator answered, " Hello, pager number 777777, sender's name please..."
Erap answered " Ahh... ERAP."
The operator continued, " Message please."
Erap said, " Ahhh... Jinggoy, this is your father. Your beeper is with me."

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One particular day many years ago, Erap's wife was having labor pains.
Erap panicked so, he called their doctor.
Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!
Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?
Erap: Yes, doc!
Doc: Is this the first baby?
Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!

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Q:Bakit nakatingala si Cory sa langit? 
A:Nagdarasal siya. 
Q:Bakit nakatingala si FVR sa langit? 
A:Para ibuga ang usok ng tabako. 
Q:Bakit nakatingala si GMA sa langit? 
A: Nag-iisip kung papaano siya makakalusot sa issue.
Q: Bakit nakatingala si Erap sa langit? 
A: Nagbibilang ng bituin.


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Sotto: Ok Mr. President, last Senator with reservation is the Lady Senator from Ilo-Ilo.

Erap: Ok the Dragon Lady Senator Pick-up Lines of Ilo-ilo and my friend Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago is recognized.

Santiago: Thank You Mr. President, I don’t know if I can call that a compliment or an insult to my persona but nonetheless I will proceed. But before I ask the witness Mr. president, let me just ask you. Mr. President, plastic ka ba?

Erap: Hindi ah, hindi ako plastic. Anong pinagsasabi mong plastic. *Miriam interrupts*

Santiago: Oh my God Mr. President, that is a pick-up line, didn’t you get that.

Erap: Ah eh, sorry kala ko tinatawag mo ako na plastic eh.

Santiago: You are too defensive Mr. President, are you guilty? hahaha. Anyways again, I will repeat my question, Mr. President, Plastic ka ba?

Erap: Ok, sige; Plastic? Bakit?

Santiago: Kasi tinapon ka na, eh na-recycle ka pa. wahahahha

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ERAP to MNLF : Sumuko na kayo!

MNLF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.

ERAP : Tangina! Tuloy ang giyera.

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